I have had to walk away from my process of converting to Judaism. This wasn’t something I decided on lightly, but it has been a few weeks in the making. There are several reasons as to why I have had to do this. The largest reason is my increasing sense of estrangement from the larger Jewish community over what is going on in Israel. I will not be silent as the Israeli government continues to escalate things further and further with no regard for life. If I had been born Jewish, my dissent would be seen as more acceptable since it would be coming from inside. As someone trying to come in from outside, I would be perceived with suspicion. The question of why I would be coming in would be on the minds of all.
Another problematic idea is the idea of a “chosen people.” While progressive Jews have revised their understanding to be more acceptable in a pluralistic world, the same can’t be said for those who are more conservative. I don’t believe in a personal God, so the idea that a divine being would set aside a small group of people is repugnant to me. I feel the same way about the Reformed Christian concept of the elect. It is just a way for people to justify their religious chauvinism.
There are countless theological reasons why, too. The simplest way to sum up all of my theological issues would be to say in no uncertain terms that I don’t believe any of Maimonides' thirteen articles of faith. Again, there are streams of Judaism that don’t accept them (i.e. Humanistic); those groups are a small minority of the world’s Jews.
This post has been difficult for me to write, especially after the last one, in which I extolled the virtues of multiple religious affiliations. However, the one thing I always try to do here is to write what is on my heart and this is what was on mine today.
I was born into the Jewish club, and rejected it utterly as soon as I began understanding it. I find the "Chosen People" thing to be dangerous to myself and others. I find the static awe (in the sense of ossified interpretation) and respect for a book written three millennia ago to be absurd and non-adaptive to a changing world. I think the "dominion" over the birds, beasts and fish is hubristic and disastrous. I have a lot more respect for Lilith than for Jehovah. Traditions are fine -- they don't bother me at all, and can be quaint or even beautiful. And, of course, the biblical apologism for the Palestinian genocide is abominable.
You become more universalist every day. I think that your desire to have deep empathy for each group is admirable, and always comes with the risk of this occurring.